I, Sir Oliver (aka: Olivier, Olive, Ollie, Poopsky, Captain Poopypants, Sir Poopsalot, Dr. Pooperschnitzel, etc.), am a four-month-old black miniature poodle living with some extremely dim humans near our nation's capital. In my first four months on earth, my primary exploits have been pooping and sleeping, both of which I verily enjoy. I have a little thing for feet, the smellier the better, so, accordingly, socks are my favorite items of clothing, though my moms have not yet learned to share theirs. I enjoy listening to classical music, polishing floors with my tongue, and going on walks, which I refer to as "visiting nature's smorgasbord." My moms don't seem to enjoy sampling all the tasty treats you find on a walk, like dirt, grass, nuts, pinecones, sticks, rocks, cigarette butts, pre-chewed gum--all delicious! Recently, I have become a connoisseur of a certain type of condiment, known as "Chew-Stop Spray." It really enhances the flavor of things like carpet, curtains, and chair legs, and my moms have been kind enough to spray it on all my favorite things.
So, until next time, I leave it to you, dear readers, to leave comments with the sorts of things you would like to hear me expound upon.
4 comments:
Good luck, Oliver. Your parents are crack addicts. Just sayin...
Sir oliver, this being the season of over indulging, I too have eaten many things that I am not supposed to. So tell your moms to lighten up.
awww oliver is super cute i cant wait to meet him
my dearest (the fact that you are my only one makes no impact) nephew i am eager to see you again for your very first festivus celebration! Remember I will always have treats (just dont tell your mothers)
Post a Comment