Oliver's Sports Tips

1. When running, always keep your eyes on the road ahead of you. Jogging through your neighborhood or local park is basically like running a very long obstacle course. Resist distractions, because the second you turn your head to check out that hot babe on the other side of the street--BAM! you're going to run face first into the bumper of a Prius. (Hey, it's still Takoma Park...)

2. Say you're out shooting hoops. Don't stand under the net. Eventually, someone is going to get the ball in there.

3. Neither canines nor humans are meant to "twizzle." This is a figure-skating move that involves, as far as I can tell, twirling yourself around in a spastic manner while making jazz hands until you vomit. I'll stick to snow angels.

Bring it on!

First, quick update: never fear, my missing sweater has been located at Grandma's house. Now, I can rotate based on how trendy I'm feeling, and how the Navy football team is doing.



Second, an interesting phenomenon has started. Apparently, by posting my and Mom's snow angel pictures, I have inspired other readers to send me their own snow angel pictures. Here is Aunt Martha's snow angel (note the depth of snow in Buffalo--so jealous I am!)





Aunt Martha also built a snowman named Ernie. I think he looks more like the McDonald's character Grimace, or at least the Bert half of Bert and Ernie, but I'm no expert:
So, readers, the game is on. Send me your best snow pictures, and I shall judge them and decide who, if anyone, has as much fun in the snow as me.

Snowpuppy

Finally! The great white toy has again descended on our nation's capital! If you'll recall from last winter's posting, Toothfairy Leaves Dog Giant Frozen Toy, I am a huge fan of snow. I had been so disappointed that there hadn't been any snow yet this winter that I asked Aunt Martha and Jim to send some down from Buffalo, since they said they had plenty of extra there. They finally delivered-it snowed all day yesterday, and when Mom got home from work, we went for a big romp in the park. It was starting to get dark out, so the pics aren't great, but here's me all suited up in my new coat (Grandma--I lost my "Go Navy" sweater--have you seen it at your house??):

Ah, snow, it's like canine catnip! So, I promised Martha and Jim pictures of our snow angels, so here's Mom's snow angel:

And here's mine:

Anyhow, we had a great time, and then this morning, when we went out for our walk, it had all iced over! The sidewalks, grass, everything, was like a giant skating rink, and I was its loveable yet graceful Scott Hamilton. Ok, so maybe I was more Brian Boitano. The point is, my little paws slid all the way around the block, it was awesome! Tonight when we go out, I'm going to practice my famous double axel-triple lutz combination jump, and I really need to work on my spins.

P.S.:

Raw sweet potato: no squeak.

Goat's milk gouda cheese: no squeak, but darn tasty.

Whirlwind!

Readers, it has been quite the exciting week here in our nation's capital! First, this past weekend Aunt Martha and Jim came to visit me. I love when they're around, we just spend all day playing and eating treats and causing trouble while Mom and Mama are at work. I did try to eat a safety razor (Shick Quattro razor: no squeak)--I think they're an acquired taste. Saturday, the lights went out for a while and Mom and Jim were wearing flashlights on their heads and standing on chairs trying to fix the lights. I wanted to laugh at how ridiculous they looked, but I was too scared of the dark. On Sunday, Winston came over and we watched the game together. I'm a Giants fan, but seeing as though they're out of the race, I borrowed Winston's Steelers terrible towel and took it on a little victory lap around the living room. Also, Bevan came over with a whole bag full of a great toy. She had this huge ball of string, with some sticks attached to it--it was like two toys in one! So, I grabbed the ball and tried to see how many times I could wrap the string around the dining room table before they caught me. Fun times.

Anyhow, this leads me to the most exciting day, which was Tuesday. Mom woke me up REALLY early and I did NOT want to get out of bed. I didn't know what she was so excited about, but she was dressed like a giant marshmallow. She was wearing so many layers of clothes she could barely lift me out of bed and walk down the stairs. Anyhow, we got in the car and it was still dark! Imagine my surprise when we pulled up to Winston's house! In any case, the moms left to go do something or another, but Winston and I hung out all day, glued to the TV watching the inauguration. I can tell you that everyone here was very excited, and there were people everywhere. We're hoping that the new administration will bring some dog-friendly policies and tax credits for socks and peanut butter.

This is Oliver, reporting live from our nation's capital...

But, I'm big boned!

A very distressing thing happened to me Friday evening, and I'm just now coming to terms with it. I'd been telling myself it was just my winter coat coming in, or that training for the 5K has made me bulk up, but it's time to face the music. I, Oliver, am a pudgy poodle. I stepped onto the scale at the vet's office, and was so shocked to see the numbers that I tried to jump right off. It seems that since my "procedure" in May, I have gained three pounds! That may not sound like a lot, but it was an increase of nearly 20%! That's like a 150 pound person gaining 30 pounds! The vet was very tactful and said I looked good, but that I "didn't need to gain any MORE weight."

Needless to say, I'm now on a strict diet. I'm really cutting back and limiting myself to one peanut butter snack per day, no exceptions. I'm thinking of using my blog as part food diary to count calories. For example, on Sunday, I ate:

• Two 3/4 cup servings of Nutro dog food
• two small chunks of rawhide bone
• four tufts of Winston's fur (we play rough)
• two cardboard drink coasters
• one pita cracker
• one paper napkin
• one twistie tie
• the cap to the orange juice carton
• two spoons coated in peanut butter while I was having my manicure
• half of Winston's peanut butter while he was getting his manicure
• one of those puffy cheese poof dog treats that Cousin Jason sent for me
• my usual bedtime snack of 5-7 pieces of whatever dog food Mom got a free sample of at the organic pet store

Anyone know how many calories are in a paper napkin?

Musical Tastes

Dear Mama,
I chewed up your Clay Aiken Christmas CD. I did it for your own good. Really, no sane person should listen to that stuff. I will replace it with a CD of Oliver-approved R&B. Trust me, the ladies love it. You can thank me later.
Oliver

Peanut Butter

I just wanted to take a minute to tell the audience out there how much I love peanut butter. I mean, I really, really, really love it. I think more than socks. Gasp! I know, it sounds crazy, but it's true. There is nothing better than a Kong full of that smooth, peanutty goodness. Once, when I was over at Winston's house, his moms tried to give us all-natural organic peanut butter. Unacceptable. I have done very scientific taste-tests and found that my own Oliver's brand (I know that's what it is because the jar has my name written on it) is definitely the best peanut butter money can buy. Bring on the hydrogenated oil.