Walden Three

Recently, I have been frequenting a place called the dog park. It is a wonderful and fascinating place, sort of a social experiment in dog and human interactions. I like visiting the dog park for several reasons:
A) The dog park is full of humans who appreciate dogs, and, in particular, appreciate my dapper good looks. I tend to get a lot of attention, if I do say so myself.
B) There is unlimited water at the dog park. It is all over in plastic bottles, giant metal bowls big enough for me to stand inside (don't try that at home!), and coming out of a hose.
C) There are lots of toys and sticks at the dog park that belong to no one in particular. I approach these items with the mindset that they all belong to me.
D) There are lots of big dogs at the dog park. You might think this would be a problem, but in reality, it is excellent. Big dogs are not always the brightest. All it takes to get a big dog to chase you is to run up to it with a stick, shake the stick in its face, and run away. They'll chase me every time, sometimes for hours. This pleases me.
E) What happens in the dog park stays in the dog park. Let's just say I tend to be what they call a "big man on campus." I'm sorry I can't tell you more, but that would totally defeat the purpose of point E. You'll just have to come with me sometime and see for yourself.

Here are some action shots taken by Aunt Martha at the dog park:

Me: Is it dead?
Pug: I don't know, dude. Touch it and find out.
Me: Have you gone mad? I don't touch dead things. You touch it. Pug: No way, man! Me: Let's get that dim-witted Retriever to do it. Pug: Good idea.

"Fake right, break left!"