This is a puppy on drugs...any questions?

Whoa, I just woke up from a big nap, and I must say, I'm feeling a bit sluggish. I suspect foul play, and I think I know what happened. I was at the vet this morning, and everything was going great. Usually I'm the only patient, but there were some big dogs there, probably thugs, loitering in the corner. Of course, I walked in and everyone immediately forgot all about the thugs and recognized me for the star I am. Then, I got up on my throne, was fed some more Easy Cheese by my harem, got a fancy new dog tag that said, "Rabies Vaccine" on it, and headed back home.

Before we went back upstairs, I took mom on a little stroll, so I could show off my new bling. Sure enough, an admirer I'd never met before actually pulled over to the side of the road to proclaim my utter adorableness. Some very rude driver started honking at her to move out of the way, so she had to leave, but clearly my new jewelry was making an impression.

Anyhow, we got back inside, I monitored Mom closely as she made lunch (she needs supervision in the kitchen, always), and then while she ate I sat down to load some pictures onto the computer to post for you, dear readers. Just as I was getting to work, I felt a sudden, debilitating drowsiness come over me. I mean, this was no little snooze, I was out cold! You can see from the picture, I tried really hard to keep my eyes open, but it just wasn't possible.

Even now, I'm writing from the couch because I just can't sit up! So, I was thinking, what on earth could possibly make me so sluggish and not my usual, playful self? Then, it came to me. It was the vet. She must have drugged my Easy Cheese! I could have DIED here, people! I think she is jealous that the harem pays more attention to me than they do to her. Probably, she called in the thugs to sell her drugs to put in the Easy Cheese. Clearly she underestimated me! I can never trust her again, and I'm going to have to figure out where to get my Easy Cheese fix from now on.

In any case, what I was going to tell you before I had my near-death experience is that I'm finally posting a photo of my rock collection. I've arranged them in a Stonehenge-esque display that I think really highlights their unique shapes and textures. I also tried to collect some mixed-media pieces--sticks, leaves, bottle caps, dental floss, etc.--so that I can make it sort of a "found art" project. If you have anything you think is really special, send it on over and I'll see if I can work it in.

Also, yesterday my friend Winston and I started a puppy training class together. We decided it was time to get in shape; after all, we're not getting any younger, and it gets harder and harder to maintain my manly physique. Turns out puppy training class is just full of a bunch of snot-nosed 10-week-olds who haven't even been housebroken...really, it was insulting that I would be placed with these babies. But, resilient, patient guy that I am, I just used the opportunity to pretend that I had not learned anything in the past two months, and got mom to give me a whole bunch of treats for "learning" stuff I mastered weeks ago.

That's about all I can manage for now. I'd better get some more rest so I can make a full recovery from my poisoning. Let this be a lesson to you all...NEVER trust Easy Cheese from the vet!