Dear readers,It is with great joy and excitement that I introduce you to my future best friend, Toby. Toby lives in California with Mom's friend Ilana. Ilana happens to be one of my biggest fans, dog-lover that she is, so I totally approve of her as a human companion for a canine like Toby. I haven't met Toby yet, but he seems like a swell guy who deserves the best.
The language of humans can sometimes be hard to understand, so, to help you communicate with your humans, I've defined some key phrases for you: (I can't help it, my mom's a linguist!)
"No" = You cute thing, do that again!
"What are you eating?" = I'm so glad you've chosen such a healthy snack.
"Give that back/That's not yours/Drop it/Stop, canine thief!" = What's mine is yours, my
four-legged friend.
"What the *beep* did you do?" = Your creativity at entertaining me continues to amaze.
"Time for a bath." = Run.
"[Name of food] is not for doggies" = Would you like a second helping?
"I'm going to sell you to the glue factory" = You have me wrapped so tight around your pinky finger that you could do anything and I'd still love you.
"We're going to see that nice vet lady." = Time for Easy Cheese!
And my one big piece of advice: If you're going to do something that you think your humans won't be too happy about (hey, we all have our moments), just wait til they're not watching. It will save everyone a lot of grief in the long run.
So, Toby, I hope you're having fun in your new home, and that we get to sniff each other's butts in person soon!
Love,
Your BFF, Oliver
3 comments:
Awww, oliver, thanks for welcoming Toby to your blog. While he's not particularly shy, we worry about his ability to make friends on his own, especially with his poor typing skills (he keeps trying to eat the laptop). I hope you two get to meet in person some day. Maybe you can teach him how to use a gentle leader (he keeps trying to eat that, too).
Hiya Ollie. Hiya hiya hiya hiya hiya. Thump thump thump thump thump. I like easy cheese too. But I really like peanut butter. Unfortunately, it makes me poop, so they don't give it to me anymore. Hiya hiya hiya. Want to play with me? what are you doing? huh huh huh?
--Toby
hey, mommy, why don't i have a blog? jsdklfjsakfsajhdhlfgh8iuhjusmmsmdmm
mmmmmm yummy keyboard! taste like poop!
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